cuak :"(
taktau nak tulis apa . sungguh aku taktau tulis apa . :| hati terasa cuak sebab nak kena tinggal semua yang ada ? maybe . Barang keperluan dah 60% siap dibeli . Allah je tau macam mana rasa kat hati ni . Betul ka nak tinggal rumah . Nak kena tinggal tok all alone kat rumah . ish , dah la tok sakit . haila ~ darn dilemma . and it effects my appetite . for the first time in my life . apa yang aku makan pun tak habis . macam - my tummy is stuffed with a tons of food but actually I'm damn hungry . tak sangka dapat sikit punya jauh . far from along - puncak alam tu dah la ceruk hutan mana tah - atas bukit lagi ! rasa nak nangis - ayaq mata kering macam Gurun Sahara . hmm ~ switch memory lane akan automatically on by itself . that's why kadang-kadang buleh ja duduk depan tingkap n lay on the bed ( feeling less ) berjam-jam . sedar-sedar ja dah petang . hmm . maybe I've been thinking so much lately .like yeah~ sapa nak tolong tok kat rumah chores dah la sikit punya banyak . who gonna help my baby sister in their study . who gonna iron baju mak . both mak n ayah are old . their energy are not enough . even tok pun start to get sick easily . they are my life . seriously . It felt suffocated to me though I'm in an open space . face book , twitter and other websites are nothing to me . just to keep in touch with my friends .
tak sangka diri ni dulu yang seronok enjoying life with the fullest will have to be mature . will have to be away from my family . kalau sapa yang kenal my family in and out . surely they'll say ' mak aiii , depa ni tak reti duduk diam-diam ka ?' but that's the truth . mungkin aku selalu cari gaduh dengan adik-adik . but to me that's the only way to talk to them . I'm not a talkative . I'm not good in conversation . but still I need to make the day with words - to unite all of my family . but now I'll gonna get going to other place to succeed . well , I don't know how to say this I really wanna explore the world .but in the same time . I want to make sure my family are in safe n healthy conditions . O Allah , please give me strength to go and face the vast world . world with intrigue .
Yes , I admit . I'm scared of this world . I born in this world yet i'm so scared to live in it . the outside world are more horrifying . we'll gonna met with people with different type of attitude . Differ beliefs in religion , culture n more . inferiority . yes , quail to stand upon of the challenges . I may gonna tripped , fall and hurt during the process of learning . but I'm trying to be strong . Allah lend me your strength . Temukanlah aku dengan makhluk-Mu yang berniat baik terhadapku . Lindungilah keluargaku Ya Allah .
I've made my decision . I'm not gonna go to Kolej MARA Kulim . but I'll be going to UiTM Puncak Alam . yes , I will be parted from my ever dearest friend . wan . but that what it takes to grow up . live a new life balqis . start a fresh page and write a new story of your life . be strong . control your temper balqis . don't make mom and dad shame . BE A DOCTOR . never look back . :) everybody is counting on you !
get closer to HIM . whether comes hell or high water . HE is always be with you . :} remember that BALQIS HUSNA . remeber that . because ;
truth hurts , reality bites
" O Allah , keep me my faith, confidence and religion. Show me the right path. find me a good match . simplify the task for the world and the hereafter . give us an abundance of sustenance . and forgive all my sins of the previous, current and later. guard us from all harm and malicious creature of you. May we always be in your mercy, O Allah. "
amin ya rabbal 'alamin ~.
May Allah Bless Us All
